Beer Jokes / Recent Jokes
The batsman was having a bad time. He played and missed at every ball and was becoming more hot and flusterred every minute. As the bowler was walking back; the batsman turned to the wicket-keeper.
'Phew,' he said' what couldn't I do with a bottle of beer.'
The wicket-keeper thought for a moment.' Hit it with the bat?'
One day a man with a box walked in a bar. He sat down, opened the box and out popped a leprechaun. The man told the bartender, "I want a pint of beer and a shot of whiskey for my buddy here."
There was man sitting at the end of the bar watching all of this and, after the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he ran down to the end of the bar and spit in the guy's face, then he ran back.
The guy with the box said, "I'll have another beer and a shot of whiskey for my buddy here."
After the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he again ran to the end of the bar and spit in the man's face, then dashed back.
The guy with the box ordered another beer for himself and another shot for the leprechaun. Again, after the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he ran down to the end of the bar. But this time the man was waiting for him and he grabbed the leprechaun and held him in the air.
He said, "If you spit in my face again, I'm going to cut your more...
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he finished, he found his horse had been stolen.
He comes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling. "Who stole my horse?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness.
No one answered.
"I'm gonna have another beer and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I'm finished, I'm gonna do what I dun back in Texas and I don't want to have to do what I dun back in Texas!"
Some of the locals shifted restlessly.
He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town.
The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, what happened in Texas?"
The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home!"
Bill and Hillary were married for 40 years.
When they first got married Bill said,
"I am putting a box under the bed.
You must promise never to look in it."
In all their 40 years of marriage Hillary never looked.
However on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary
curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid
and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer cans
and $1874. 25 in cash.
She closed the box and put it back under the bed.
Now that she knew what was in the box,
she was doubly curious as to why. That evening they
were out for a special dinner. After dinner Hillary
could no longer contain her curiosity and
she confessed, saying,"I am so sorry. For all these
years I kept my promise and never looked into the
box under our bed.
However today the temptation was too much and I gave in.
But now I need to know why do you,
keep the cans in more...
Joe stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard day's work to relax. He noticed a man next to him order a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket.
This continued several times before Joe's curiosity got the best of him. He leaned over to the guy and said, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your little ritual. Why in the world do you look into your shirt pocket every time you drink your shot and beer?"
The man replied, "There's a picture of my wife in there, and when she starts lookin' good, I'm headin' home!"
A gay guy walks into a bar and says "bartender give me a brewskie."
The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here."
The gay continues, "I'll just sit in the corner and drink my beer and won't say anything."
The bartender says, "Well, all right!" and pours a beer.
A while later a cowboy walks in and says "Bartender give me a beer! I'm so thirsty I could lick the sweat off a cow's balls"
A voice is heard from the corner. "Moo! Moo! Buckaroo!"