Batter Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Scottish tourist attended his first baseball game in the US and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring "Run.... Run!" The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!" A third batter hits a slam and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!" The next batter steadfastly holds his swing four times and as the ump calls a walk the Scotsman stands up and yells "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run!" All the surrounding fans giggle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment, whispers to the Scotsman, "He doesn't have to run, he's got four balls." After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in disbelief and screams, "Walk with pr-r-ride man! Walk with pr-r-ride!!!!"

Top Ten Signs you're Not Watching a Real Baseball Team
From Late Show with David Letterman; Monday, February 20, 1995
You recognize batter as the kid who sold you a hot dog a couple minutes earlier.
Everytime a player slides into second, he busts his hip.
They keep shouting "Do over!"
When umpire yells, "Strike 3!" batter looks at him as if the dude's speaking French.
Try as they might, they just can't scratch themselves like professionals.
First base: Siskel. Second base: Ebert.
Game stops when some lady in a house near the stadium shouts "Dinner time!"
Players constantly adjusting each other's cups.
You overheard the coach yelling, "Run, Forrest, run!"
They play like the Mets.

Top Ten Signs you're Not Watching a Real Baseball Team From Late Show with David Letterman; Monday, February 20, 1995 You recognize batter as the kid who sold you a hot dog a couple minutes earlier. Everytime a player slides into second, he busts his hip. They keep shouting "Do over!" When umpire yells, "Strike 3!" batter looks at him as if the dude's speaking French. Try as they might, they just can't scratch themselves like professionals. First base: Siskel. Second base: Ebert. Game stops when some lady in a house near the stadium shouts "Dinner time!" Players constantly adjusting each other's cups. You overheard the coach yelling, "Run, Forrest, run!" They play like the Mets

A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring run....run! The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!" A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!" The next batter held his swing at three and two and as the ump calls a walk the Scotsman stands up yelling "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run!" All the surrounding fans giggle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment whisper, "He doesn`t have to run, he`s got four balls." After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in disbelief and screams, "Walk with pr-r-ride man! Walk with pr-r-ride!!!!"

Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
A1:
10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
A2: Three... one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
A3: Two... one to make batter and one to peel the M&Ms.

Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies? A1:10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties. A2: Three... one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.A3: Two... one to make batter and one to peel the M&Ms.

An Irishman was attending his first American baseball game. When the first batter made a hit, the fans jumped up and yelled, "Run! Run! Seeing this, the Irishman jumped up too and started yelling, "Run laddie! Run laddie!"
Second man up made a hit which made the crowd again cheer, "Run! Run!" Once more, the Irishman jumped up and yelled, "Run laddie! Run laddie!"
The third batter up got ball 1... ball 2... ball 3... ball 4. "Take your base," yelled the umpire. As the batter jogged to the base, the Irishman jumped up and yelled, "Run laddie! Run laddie!"
A fan sitting next to him looked at him and said, "He doesn't need to run, he has four balls."
With a shocked look, the Irishman shouted, "Walk with pride, laddie! Walk with pride!"