Arrangements Jokes

A woman from New York was getting her affairs in order. She prepared her
will and made her final arrangements. As part of these arrangements she
met with her Rabbi to talk about what type of funeral service she wanted,
etc.
She told her rabbi she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes
scattered over Bloomingdales.
"Bloomingdales!" the rabbi said. "Why Bloomingdales?"
"That way, I know my daughters will visit me twice a week."

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of thewindshields.British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the pilot's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like a bolt shot from a crossbow. The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs for the windshield, andbegged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.NASA responded with a one-line memo: more...

A woman from New York was getting her affairs in order. She prepared her will and made her final arrangements.

As part of these arrangements she met with her rabbi to talk about what type of funeral service she wanted, etc.

She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales.

"Bloomingdales!" the rabbi said. "Why Bloomingdales?"

"That way, I know my daughters will visit me twice a week."

A New York woman was in the process of getting her affairs in order. She prepared her will and made her final arrangements.
As part of these arrangements, she met with her Rabbi to discuss what type of funeral service she wished.
She told her Rabbi she had two final requests. The first was that she be cremated. The second was that her ashes be scattered over Bloomingdales.
"Bloomingdales!" the surprised Rabbi said. "Why Bloomingdales?"
"That way, I will be sure that my daughters will visit me twice a week," she replied.

A woman from New York was getting her affairs in order. She prepared her
will and made her final arrangements. As part of these arrangements she
met with her Rabbi to talk about what type of funeral service she wanted,
etc.

She told her rabbi she had two final requests.

First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes
scattered over Bloomingdales.

"Bloomingdales!" the rabbi said. "Why Bloomingdales?"
"That way, I know my daughters will visit me twice a week."