Approach Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?" Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"2. The most memorable rebuttal to a turn down (used by the guy who used to live across the hall from me in residence) when he asked a girl to dance and she refused:Man: "Want to Dance?" Woman: "No, thank you." Man: "Don't thank me, thank God somebody asked you."3. Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman: "It's in the phone book." Man: "But I don't know your name." Woman: "That's in the phone book too."4.Man: "So what do you do for a living?" Woman: "Female impersonator."5. Q: What sign were you born under? A: No Parking.6. After hearing a pick-up line: Woman: "I like your approach, now let's see your departure."7. A girlfriend of mine once had a graying man in his 60's approach her in a club while she was in college with the line, "Where have you more...

1.) Man: "Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Yes, I was the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."2.) Man: "So, wanna go back to my place? " Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"3.) Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants." Woman: "No thanks. There's already one asshole in there."4.) The most memorable rebuttal to a turn-down (used by the guy whoused to live across the hall from me in residence) when he asked a girl to dance and she refused:Man: "Want to Dance?"Woman: "No, thank you."Man: "Don't thank me, thank God because somebody asked you."5.) Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"Woman: "It's in the phone book."Man: "But I don't know your name."Woman: "That's in the phone book too."6.) Man: "So what do you do for a living?" Woman: "Female impersonator."7.) Man: "You know, I'd really love to travel more...

All believable, but un-verrified at this time.

22 November 1996 -- Any More Complaints? The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty (do a complete circle, usually to provide spacing between aircraft). The pilot of the 727 complained,' Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane?' Without missing a beat the controller replied,' Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth!'

15 November 1996 -- What the...?! PSA was following United, taxiing out for departure. PSA called the tower and said' Tower, this is United 586. We've got a little problem, so go ahead and let PSA go first'. The tower promptly cleared PSA for takeoff before United had a chance to object to the impersonation!

8 November 1996 -- Which Exit Did You Say That Was? A DC-10 had an exceedingly long landing roll out after landing with his Approach speed just a little too high. San Jose Tower:' American 751 Heavy, more...

1 Man: "Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V. D. Clinic." 2 Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?" Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?" 3 Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants." Woman: "No thanks. There's already one asshole in there." 4 The rebuttal to a turn-down: Man: "Want to Dance?" Woman: "No thanks." Man: "Don't thank me, thank God because somebody asked you." 5 Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman: "It's in the phone book." Man: "But I don't know your name." Woman: "That's in the phone book too." 6 Man: "So what do you do for a living?" Woman: "Female impersonator." 7 Man: "You know, I'd really love to travel to exotic places with you." Woman: (tries to ignore him) Man: "You know what? I also love sex. What do you say to that?" more...

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse`s trainer meets him before the race and says, ``All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, `ALLLLEEE OOOP!` really loudly in the horse`s ear. Providing you do that, you`ll be fine.``

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer`s ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers `Aleeee ooop` in the horse`s ear. The same thing happens--the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, ``It`s no good, I`ll have to do it,`` and yells, ``ALLLEEE OOOP!`` really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for more...

I like your approach¦ let`s see your departure.

Now I understand what marketing is: You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You approach her and tell her: "I am very good in bed". That is Direct Marketing. You are at a party with a group of friends and you see a very pretty girl. One of your friends approaches her and tells her: "That guy over there is very good in bed". That is Advertising. You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You ask for her phone number. The following day you call her and tell her: "I am very good in bed". That is Telemarketing. You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You recognize her, you approach her and refresh her memory by telling her: "Do you remember how good I am in bed?" That is Customer Relationship Management. You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You get up, fix your tie, pour her a drink, open the door for her, pick up her bag when it falls and you tell her: "I am very good in bed". That is Public more...