Antitrust Jokes

The Top 13 Changes at Microsoft as a Result of Antitrust Charges

13 Microsoft offices no longer providing toilet paper bearing Netscape logo.

12 Follow-up release to' IE4' now being referred to internally as' IE,5-10, with time off for good behavior.'

11 Before devouring competitors, must now say:' pretty please with jam on top'

10 Cancellation of planned ad campaign:' You'll think what we TELL you to think!'

9 Company United Way contributions redirected towards the' Let's Buy The US Government' fund.

8 Plans quietly tabled to begin marketing: MSFood, MSClothing and MSShelter

7 10:00 AM: Barksdale visits Gates's office to sign landmark settlement agreement. 10:05 AM: Piranhas beneath trap door get some lunch.

6 Bumper stickers removed from corporate limousines which read.' I don't break for software companies'

5 Internal memos no longer refer to Janet Reno as' liquor addled more...

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Wednesday, 22 October 1998

WASHINGTON -- The Justice Department today filed suit against Ford Motor Company, alleging that Ford's practice of' bundling' radios with its cars was a monopolistic restriction of trade, and an unfair competitive practice against makers of car radios such as Alpine and Pioneer.

'We feel that it is wrong for Ford to give away what other companies charge for,' said Joe Klein, head of the DOJ's antitrust division.' Furthermore, requiring that Ford dealers deliver cars to consumers with radios preinstalled restricts consumer choice.'

Justice demanded that Ford immediately cease shipping cars with radios, and that it provide current Ford owners with easy instructions for removing their existing radios. Klein also asked a judge to impose a $1,000,000 per day fine on Ford for each day it failed to comply.' Usually, antitrust fines are about $10,000 per day,' Klein said. Klein called the amount of the more...