"The Politically Correct 12 Days Of Christmas" joke

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival,
my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship
gave to me:
TWELVE
males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,
ELEVEN
pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members
in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in
their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a
note),
TEN
melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal
ruling class system leaping,
NINE
persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
EIGHT
economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products
from enslaved Bovine-Americans,
SEVEN
endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,
SIX
enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,
FIVE
golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic
incarceration,
(NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to
throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and
partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid
further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package
has been revised.)
FOUR
hours of recorded whale songs
THREE
deconstructionist poets
TWO
Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses
and...
ONE
Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

[Thanks to Ken Lassey]