"Bitter Clown Rains on Little Girl's Parade" joke

Child film star Dakota Fanning is not as talented as many of her peers, a source close to the 12 year old reports. The source, who wished to remain anonymous, was Shawn Lugoire, Ms. Manning's jilted former movement instructor and currently a circus clown with Ringling Brothers going by the stage name "Blinky."

"One can easily see why someone with Mr. Lugoire's flabby resume and depressing track record would want to poo-poo those who succeed where he has failed," noted a statement from child star advocate Sibley Martin. "But to do so to a little girl is just sick and Mr. Lugoire deserves all the bad press that is coming to him."

Mr. Lugoire responded to the statement by punching a makeup mirror in his trailer and being charged $120 dollars by Wringling Brothers, Inc.

"Mr. Lugoire has, in general, been a wonderful employee," noted a spokesman at Wringling Brothers, "But a few more outbursts like the one we saw the other day, and we'll be forced to terminate him."

Mr. Lugoire was briefly reached for comment, saying that he wished to put the incident behind him, and that he does not begrudge Ms. Fanning her fame or success, noting that "she's got a long road in front of her, and we'll see where she goes from here. I for one know it's a long way down."

Then Mr. Lugoire ended the interview by walking out on stage and getting into a yellow polka-dot clown car followed by fifteen other clowns.

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