"An old man walks into a church..." joke

An old man walks into a church, and goes for a confession.
The priest pulls back the window, and the old man says:"Forgive me father, for I have sinned"
The priest says: "Tell me, my son...."
The old man explains: "I am 80 years old, and I have recently started a relationship with a woman of 25. She is absolutely gorgeous, and we have been having unbelievable sex 3 or 4 times a day, every day...I can almost not catch my breath...it's a mind-blowing experience"
The priest then asks: "How long has this relationship been going on?"
The old man replies: "About 2 months..."
The priest then asks: "When was the first time that you confessed this relationship?"
The old man replies:"Today"
The priest asks:"Why is this the first time?"
The old man explains:"Actually this is my first ever confession"...
The priests (naturally) asks: "Why?"
The old man explains: "Well, actually, I'm Jewish..."
The priest is exasperated..."In that case, why are you telling me...???!"
The old man explains...
"I'm telling EVERYBODY... !!!"

Dear Mom and Dad,
Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two of our sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily none us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for more...

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Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
with real lemons?

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After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family.
"But-where is your beard?" asks his mother upon seeing him.
"Mama," he replies, "in America, nobody wears a more...

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The best way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

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A community orchestra was plagued by attendance problems. Several musicians were absent at each rehearsal. As a matter of fact, every player in the orchestra had missed several rehearsals, except for one very faithful oboe player. Finally, as the dress rehearsal drew to a close, more...

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Funny Joke? 7 vote(s). 71% are positive. 0 comment(s).