Trunk Jokes / Recent Jokes

A policeman was sitting on the hard shoulder watching the traffic go by when a car zoomed past him doing at least 120 mph!
The policeman chased him down, and pulled the car over. He went up to the car and asked, "Do you know that you were doing at least 50 mph over the speed limit?"
The driver replied, "Was I officer, I'm terribly sorry but I wasn't aware of that."
The policeman said, "May I see your drivers license please?"
The man replied, "I don't have one officer."
"Of course you do," said the policeman.
"No sir, I don't," said the man.
"So why do you have this car?" asked the policeman.
"This is not my car, I stole it," said the man.
"You are driving a stolen car?" said the policeman.
"Yes I'm afraid so sir,"
Looking puzzled the policeman said, "Let me see the registration, so we can find out who it belongs to."
The man more...

A rookie officer pulled over a guy who was speeding.
officer:May I see your license?
Man:It is not valid.It has been revoked 5 times.
officer:Well then can I please see the registration to the car?
Man:this is not my car.I carjacked it.
Officer:Well open up the glove box and let me see who it is regitered to.
Man:I can't open up the glove box, it has my loaded gun in there
About this time the officer is reaching for his gun.
Officer:Well what do you have a gun in the glove box for?
Man:Oh, I used to kill my wife who is stuffed in the trunk.
The officer goes over and calls for backup.The police chief comes over and says,
Chief:Let me get this straight, you are driving on a license that has been revoked 5 times?
Man: No, Here, take a look,
And sure enough it was valid
Chief:Okay, but you carjacked this car?
Man:No it is my car.Let me get the registration out of the glove box and show you.
Chief:But don't you have a loaded more...

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Sunday, December 13, 1992After police pulled over Kevin Temple, 35, in a routine traffic stop in Bronson, Fla., in October, a police dog sniffing the trunk became agitated. In the trunk and back seat, officers found the following live animals: 48 rattlesnakes, a Gila monster, 45 non-poisonous snakes, 67 scorpions, several tarantulas and small lizards, and a parrot. Temple said they were just pets.

After losing his penis in a horrible accident, Schreiber went to doctor after doctor, but none could help. Finally a plastic surgeon was able to substitute a baby elephant trunk for the missing member.
Overcome with joy over the good news, the worked decided to have dinner with his wife at a fancy italian restorante to celebrate. Before he had a chance to tell his wife the news, the trunk came up from his pants and grabbed a roll off the table and then disappeared into his pants.
Schreiber's wife demanded an immediate explanation, and, upon learning of the opperation became very excited. "Tell me," she asked, "Can you do that roll trick again?"
"I think so," said Schreiber, "But, to be honest, I don't know if I can handle another bun up my ass."

Jack goes to the doctor and says "Doc I'm having trouble getting my
penis erect, can you help me?"
After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, "Well the
problem with you is that the muscles around the base of your penis
are damaged. There's really nothing I can do for you except if
you're willing to try an experimental treatment."
Jack asks sadly, "What is this treatment?" "Well," the doctor
explains, "what we would do is take the muscles from the trunk of a
baby elephant and implant them in your penis."
Jack thinks about it silently then says, "Well the thought of going
through life without ever having sex again is too much, lets go for
A few weeks after the operation Jack was given the green light to
use his improved equipment. He planned a romantic evening for his
girl friend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the
city. In the middle of more...

A mother is walking with her five year-old son through the zoo when they reach the elephant cage. The boy looks with amazement at the large beast and asks his mom, "What's that long thing hanging down from the elephant?"

His mother replies "That's his trunk".

The little boy goes, "I know that, the thing to the other side of the trunk."

The mom replies "Oh, that's his tail".

The boy goes, "I know that! No, what's that big thing hanging down in between the trunk and tail."

The mother, wanting to avoid this subject all together, just says "Oh, that's nothing" and whisks him off to the next exhibit.

Two weeks later he goes to the same zoo with his dad. They are at the elephant exhibit and he asks his dad "What's that long thing hanging down from the elephant?"

The dad replies, "That's his trunk."

"No, behind more...

At the end of camp, Julie won the prize for neatest trunk. Her mother was amazed. How did your trunk get so neat? she asked her messy daughter. It was easy, said Julie. I just never unpacked!