Sight Jokes / Recent Jokes

In a Test between India and the West Indies, the fiery Wes Hall was sending quivers down the Indian spine. The new batsman walked slowly to the crease, not feeling unlike a lamb at the slaughter house.

As the great bowler thundered in, suddenly he stood up in the crease, and signalled that he wanted the sight screen adjusted.

Adjustments were made and the bowler was ready to come in again.

Once again, in the middle of his run-up, the batsman found something disturbing in the sight screen. Indeed, this went on a few times before the irritated umpire walked up to the batsman and enquired,

"Where do you want the sight screen, for God's sake?"

The batsman asked, with an ounce of fear, " Couldn't I have between him and me?"

A man enters a bar with his pet monkey and orders a drink. While he's drinking, the monkey is jumping all around the place.
The monkey grabs some olives from the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth and, to everyone's amazement, swallows it whole.
"Did you see what your monkey just did?" the bartender screams at the guy.
"No, what did he do?" the guy asks.
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole!" exclaims the bartender.
"That doesn't surprise me," the guys says. "He eats everything in sight, the little bugger. I'm sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and the other stuff." He finishes his drink, pays for it, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, and leaves.
A couple of weeks later, he goes to the bar again and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey begins to run around the more...

Do you believe in love at first sight or do
I have to walk by you again?

My girlfriend asked me, "Do You believe in love at first sight"? I said, "At the first sight of what"?

A guy walks in to a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then he jumps on to the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, and somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey did?"
The guy says, "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and his pet monkey is with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing more...

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did? ” The guy says, “No, what? ” “He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole! ” says the bartender. “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me, ” replies the patron. “He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I’ll pay for the cue ball and stuff. ” He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he’s in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls more...

I was sorry to hear that a friend of mine dropped out of med school. He really wanted to be a doctor, but just couldn't stand the sight of money.