Shabbas Jokes

Telling the future
Bush was very curious about how the Jewish people knew everything before he did. So he called the FBI and asked them to figure it out.
One week later they came back and said, "Mr. President, the Jews have something called shabbas. They meet each other at the synagogue and use a code. They sit, they pray, and there is a word that is the key to this secret. This word is `Nu?`. When one says to another, `Nu?` the other tells him everything, every bit of news."
Bush wanted to see this for himself. So the FBI dressed him like a Hassid and taught him to read from the right to the left of the siddur. Bush arrived at a synagogue on shabbas and sat beside Issy. He waited for a moment, and said, "Nu?"
Issy answered, "Shh, don’t talk now, Bush is coming."