Pleasure Jokes / Recent Jokes

A college professor is explaining to his class that pleasure is a mental state, and that many people overlook the things they already have. He says, "A man who has developed a true sense of appreciation can enjoy a good bowel movement as much as having sexual intercourse." One student stands up and says, "Professor, either you don't know how to fuck, or I don't know how to shit."

I guess some things will never change. I hired a temp while my secretary was on maternity leave. Trying to arrive at an agreeable wage, I asked what she expected to earn.She said, "Well... the minimum I could work for is four hundred a week."I told her I'd give her that much with pleasure. She shook her head and replied, "With pleasure, it'll be $600 a week."

Kissing is a habit
Fu.. is a game
The Guy gets all the pleasure
The Girl gets all the pain
The Guy says he loves you
And the girl thinks that it is true
But when the tummy starts swelling
The guy says a hell with you
16 minutes of pleasure
9 months of pain
3 days in the hospital
A child with no name
The child is a Bastard
The mother's named a Whore
This wouldn't have happend
If the Rubber hade'nt tore.....

What's six inches long and guaranteed to give British Jewish women pleasure?
A ten pound note

Beer and the quotes it has helped create over the years...
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
-Frank Sinatra
The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.
-William Butler Yeats
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
-Ernest Hemingway
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
-Ernest Hemingway
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
-Dean Martin
Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.
No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or as good as drink.
-G.K. Chesterton
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
-Catherine Zandonella
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
-Ambrose more...

In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180, 000. 00 they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the US published the study, the French decided to do their own study. After $250, 000. 00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

Australian scientists, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of $74. 95, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

Several years ago the United States funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft.The study took 2 years and cost over $180,000.00. The results of the study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published, Germany decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the U.S. study were incorrect. After three years of research and cost in excess of $250,000.00, they concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the women with more pleasure during sex.When the results of the German study were released, Poland decided to conduct their own study. The Poles didn't really trust the U.S. or German studies. So after nearly three weeks of intensive research and at a cost of right around $75.00, the Polish study reached a conclusion. The Polish study came to the final more...