Foreman Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    One day this factory foreman hired 3 guys - a Polish fellow named 'Stosh', a black guy named 'Calvin' and a Chinese man named 'Ling'.
    When it came to handing out work assignments, he said "Stosh, you take care of that machine over there. Make sure it has proper materials going it at all times and inspect each finished piece coming out".
    Handing Calvin a broom, he said "Calvin, make sure this place is clean at all times. Sweep up anything that falls on the floor."
    So Ling asked what HE was supposed to do and the foreman said "You're in charge of supplies" and went back to his office.
    A little while later, he emerged from behind his desk to see how his new charges were doing.
    Stosh was busily tending his machine and Calvin was sweeping up every piece of litter in sight. But he did not see Ling anywhere.
    He went back to the warehouse - no Ling.
    He checked the receiving area - no Ling!
    He even went into the men's room - still more...

    Soon after the Texas Aggie clocked in for work, the foreman called him over and told him that he had a phone call in the front office. When the Aggie returned, he had a mournful expression on his face and his head hung low. His foreman noticed and asked if he had received bad news.
    "Shure was, Boss" he replied, "I just found out that my mother died earlier this morning.
    "Gosh, that's awful," replied the foreman "Do you want the rest of the day off?"
    "No," replied the Aggie. "I'll finish the day out."
    About an hour later, the foreman returned to inform him that there was another phone call for him up front. This time when the Aggie returned he looked twice as glum and the foreman asked if everything was alright.
    "Jezz, Boss this has to be the worst day of my life," Moaned the Aggie.
    "That was my brother, and his mother died today too!"

    A factory foreman is walking through the work area, and notices that Kawolski isn't at his station.
    He asks one of the other workers if they know where Kawolski is, and the employee points straight up in the air. The foreman looks up, and there's Kawolski, hanging by one arm from the rafters.
    "Get down from there, Kawolski," he yells, to which Kawolski replies, "But I'm a light bulb!"
    The boss is -NOT- impressed, and makes Kawolski climb down and get back to work.
    About an hour later, the boss is walking through the factory once again, and once again he notices that Kawolski is missing. On a hunch, he looks up, and again sees Kawolski hanging by one arm from the rafters.
    The foreman makes him climb down, and chews him out, saying that if he catches Kawolski up there one more time, he's going to get fired.
    Another hour later, the boss is making another round, and sure enough... there's Kawolski, hanging by one arm from the more...

    Shannon received a phone call from the foreman plant that her husband worked at. He sounded grim and she immediately knew something was wrong.
    "What happened? Is Patrick all right? Please tell me he's ok," she said.
    The man on the line said, "Shannon, there was an accident at the brewery and your husband is... dead."
    "Oh my goodness, what happened?" Shannon asked.
    The foreman replied, "He fell into a vat of beer."
    "Did he at least die quickly?" sobbed Shannon.
    The man paused, then said, "Well, no... he got out three times to use the bathroom."

    The Supply Guy An Italian, and Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy. "You`re in charge of sweeping," to the Irishman, "You`re in charge of shoveling," and to the Chinese guy, "And you`re in charge of supplies." "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that pile." So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched. He says to the Italian, "Why didn`t you sweep any of it?" The Italian replies, "I didn`t have a broom. You said the Chinese guy was in charge of supplies, but he disappeared and I couldn`t find him." So then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn`t shovel. The Irishman replies, "I couldn`t get myself a shovel. You left the Chinese guy in charge of supplies, but I couldn`t find him." The foreman is really upset more...

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