Far Jokes / Recent Jokes

A unit of soldiers was marching a long dusty march across the rolling prairie. It was a hot blistering day and the men, longing for water and rest, were impatient to reach the next town.

A rancher rode past.

"Say, friend", called out one of the men, "how far is it to the next town?"

"Oh, a matter of two miles or so, I reckon," called back the rancher. Another long hour dragged by, and another rancher was encountered.

"How far to the next town?" the men asked him eagerly.

"Oh, a good two miles."

A nearly half hour longer of marching, and then a third rancher. "Hey, how far's the next town?"

"Not far," was the encouraging answer, "only about two miles."

"Well," sighed the optimistic sergeant, "thank God, we're holding our own, anyhow!"

Q: What has two heads, four eyes, six legs and a tail?
A: A horse and its rider.

Q: What is as big as a horse but doesn't weigh anything?
A: The horse's shadow.

Q. Why was the hearse horse hoarse?
A. Because of the coffin

Q: Why are man with pierced ears better suited for marriage?
Q: Because they have suffered and bought jewelry.

Q: What begins with T, ends with T and has T in it?
A: A teapot.

Q: Do you know why birds fly to south in the winter?
A: Because it's too far to walk there.

Q: Why do birds fly south in the fall?
A: Because it's too far to walk!

Q: Which letters do Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday have in common?
A: None! None of them have "c", "o","m" or "n" in them.

Q: What are the 3 important rings in life?
A: Engagement ring, Wedding ring, and suffering.

I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips. Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together. Can I borrow that quarter,' cause my mom told me to call home when I fell in loveWhat's wrong? You're looking a little sad and gloomy. What you need is some vitamin me. Are your legs tired?' cause you been running through my mind ALL day long. Are you lost?' cause it's so strange to see an angel so far from heaven. Is your father a thief?' cause he stole the sparkle from the stars, and put it in your eyes. (yo, watch out though, and be prepared with a snappy answer just in case she says' yes')Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again? What's that in your eye? Oh... it's a sparkle. If I said you were an angel, would you treat me like the devil tonight? Can I see that label? I just wanted to know if you were made in heaven. Do you like raisins? How about a date? So... How am I doin'? I more...

A cat and a mouse died on the same day and went up to Heaven. At the top they met God and he asked them How do you like it so far? The mouse replied Its great, but can I get a pair of roller skates? God said Sure, and he gave him a pair of roller skates. The next day God saw the cat and asked him How do you like it up here so far? and the cat replied Great, I didnt know you had meals on wheels up here!

1. Shouldn't a guy with your IQ have a low voice too?
2. After meeting you, I've decided I am in favor of abortion in cases of incest.
3. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental.
4. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
5. You are as useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker.
6. You've got diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.
7. I wonder whether you'd still be an idiot if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
8. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
9. Your job must be to spread ignorance.
10. Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be left out alone.
11. Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?
12. You should need a license to be that ugly.
13. Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down.
14. Every boy has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege.
15. Grasp your ears firmly and remove your more...

I think Microsoft has gone too far... Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows.

Titanic was sinking.
Santa: How much the earth is far from here?
Banta: 1 kilo meter.
Santa jumped into the sea and asked again: "... In which direction?"
Banta: Downwards!