Crossword Jokes / Recent Jokes

WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP, Sept. 2, 2002) - Senate Majority Leader Ray
Noorda (P-Utah) today demanded that the Department of Justice order
Microsoft and Netscape to cease development of new Internet browsers,
saying the ever-escalating battle for Internet dominance had sapped the
American economy of its vitality.
In an impassioned speech before the Perotista-controlled Senate, Noorda -
once a key figure in the information technology industry - claimed
American workers and shoppers are so consumed with downloading new
browser versions, Netscape plug-ins and Microsoft ActiveX Controls that they no
longer have time to produce anything of value or to consume products. "We
have been transformed from a nation of thinkers and doers to a nation of
downloaders worried about whether we are keeping up with the
technological Jones'es," Noorda said.
Noorda's comments came only a day after Netscape released Version 407 of
its Navigator more...

A shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight.
"This is exciting," thought the gentleman. "I've always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person."
Imagine his surprise when the Pope sat down in the seat next to him for the flight. Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to the Pontiff. Shortly after take-off, the Pope began a crossword puzzle.
"This is fantastic," thought the gentleman. "I'm really good at crosswords. Perhaps, if the Pope gets stuck, he'll ask me for assistance."
Almost immediately, the Pope turned to the gentleman and said, "Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends with the letters 'u-n-t?'"
Only one word leapt to mind. "My goodness," thought the gentleman, "I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word."
The gentleman thought for quite a while, then more...

Crossword Fan: I've been trying to think of a word for two weeks!
Friend: How about a fortnight?

One guy is doing a crossword puzzle. He says to another guy: "Sex organ, six letters, starts with a V and ends with an A."
The other guy says: "Horizontal or vertical?"
The first one: "Horizontal."
The other one: "Then I have no idea..."

A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?"To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"
Pope's Crossword Puzzle "A man boarded a plane and, much to his surprise, found that he was seated right next to the Pope himself. He had always been a big fan of the Pope but, being a shy man, he wasn't sure how to go about striking up a conversation with him.
As he glanced over, he noticed that the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. "This is great," he thought to himself, "I love crossword puzzles. Maybe if he gets stuck, he'll ask me for help."
After a short time, the Pope turned to the man and said, "Pardon me, but would you happen to know a four-letter word that refers to a woman and ends in 'unt'?"
One more...