Cross Jokes / Recent Jokes
Plato:
For the greater good.
Karl Marx:
It was a historical inevitability.
Machiavelli:
So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
Hippocrates:
Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in itspancreas.
Jacques Derrida:
Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
Thomas de Torquemada:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Timothy Leary:
Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
Douglas Adams:
Forty-two.
Nietzsche:
Because if you more...
What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree? A cat-a-logue!
What do you get if you cross your missus with a pit bull? Your very last headjob.
Why did the chicken cross the road?: JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that. PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American. DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told! ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called more...
Why did the cat join the Red Cross? Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answers below...
AL GORE
I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now.
I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road!
I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them.
GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road.
I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide.
The government needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the road.
SENATOR LIEBERMAN
I believe that every chicken has the right to worship his or her God in his or her own way.
Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in his or her own way.
SECRETARY CHENEY
Chickens are big-time because they have wings.
They could fly if they wanted to.
Chickens don't more...
A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner. The attorney asked, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?" The coroner said, "No."
The attorney then asked, "Did you listen for a heart beat?", and again the coroner said, "No."
Then the attorney asked, "Did you check for breathing?", and again the coroner said, "No."
"So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?"
The coroner, now tired of the brow beating said, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk, but for all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere."