Coin Jokes / Recent Jokes

During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids. "Now I'm dropping this silver coin into this glass of acid. Will it dissolve?"
"No, sir," a student called out.
"No?" queried the professor. "Perhaps you can explain why the silver coin won't dissolve."
"Because if it would, you wouldn't have dropped it in!"

A U.S. Mint spokesperson announced the plans for a new fifty-cent piece that was being issued in the honor of two great American patriots. On one side of the coin would be Theodore Roosevelt, on the other, Nathan Hale. When questioned by a reporter why two people were going to appear on the same coin, the spokesperson replied, "These two men were selected to simplify life for a vast majority of Americans."
The reporter then asked, "Could you explain how this would simplify life for Americans?"
The official responded, "Certainly, I'd be happy to. Now, when they toss a coin, they can simply call Ted's or Hale's."

These two men were cellmates at state penitentiary for nine years. One day Larry said to Joe, "You know man its been a long time since we had some sex so you oughta let me fuck you." Joe replied. "Are you crazy?!!" Larrywent on to say, "I promise you that it won't hurt and we'll flip a coin and see who fucks, who first. So, Joe thought about it for a minute and finally agreed. They flipped a coin and Larry won. Still having strong reservation Joe asked, "How will you tell if it hurts or not?" Larry told Joe, "If it hurts you start making animal noises, and I'll stop. But if it feels good start singing." Larry started the insertion and Joe screamed, Moooooooo. Moooooo. Mooooon River......

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Q: How is a cat laying down like a coin? A: Because he has his head on one side and his tail on the other! Q: Why are cars longer in the evening than they are in the morning? A: Because they're let out in the evening and taking in in the morning! Q: What cat purrs more than any other? A: Purrsians! Q: How do you spell mousetrap in just three letters? A: C-A-T! Q: Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin? A: There was some money in the kitty! Q: What does a cat call a bowl of mice? A: A purrfect meal! Q: Why did the cat sleep under the car? A: Because she wanted to wake up oily! Q: What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese? A: He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath! Q: What is another way to describe a cat? A: A heat seeking missile!

A spokesperson for the U. S. Mint announced that a new fifty-cent piece was being issued to honor two great American patriots. On one side of the coin would be Theodore Roosevelt, on the other, Nathan Hale. Asked why two people were going to be on the same coin, the official replied,. .. "Now, when you have a coin toss, you can simply call "Teds, or Hales!"

A young student reported for a final examination that consisted of only true/false questions.The student took a seat in the hall, stared at the test for five minutes, removed a coin from his pocket and started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet. Heads meant true, tails meant false.The young student finished the exam in 30 minutes, while the rest of the class was sweating it out.Suddenly, during the last few minutes, the young student began desperately throwing the coin and sweating profusely.The moderator, alarmed, approached the student and asked what was going on."Well, I finished the exam in half an hour," said the student, "but I thought I ought to recheck my answers."