Class Jokes / Recent Jokes

Joe, a college student, was taking a course in ornithology, the study of birds. The night before the biggest test of the semester, Joe spent all night studying. He had the textbook nearly memorized. He knew his class notes backward and forward. Joe was ready.The morning of the test, Joe entered the auditorium and took a seat in the front row. On the table in the front was a row of ten stuffed birds. Each bird had a sack covering its body, and only the legs were showing. When class started, the professor announced that the students were to identify each bird by looking at its legs and give its common name, species, habitat, mating habits, etc.
Joe looked at each of the birds' legs. They all looked the same to him. He started to get angry. He had stayed up all night studying for this test and now he had to identify birds by their LEGS? The more he thought about the situation, the angrier he got.Finally he reached his boiling point. He stood up, marched up to the professor's desk, more...

In biology class the teacher asks, "Can anyone tell me why a flounder is flat?" Little Johnny raises his hand.
"Go ahead, Little Johnny."
"My uncle told me it's because a whale raped the flounder."
"That's terrible, Little Johnny. I'll have to speak to your parents about this. Let's try another one. Why does a lobster's eyes protrude from its head?"
Again Little Johnny raises his hand.
"We'll give you another chance."
"My uncle said when the whale raped the flounder, the lobster saw it, and his eyes popped out in shock."

TEACHER: Why are you late?
BALGOBIN: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
BALGOBIN: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
TEACHER: Balgobin, why are you doing your math sums on the floor?
BALGOBIN: You told me to do it without using tables!
-TEACHER: Balgobin, how do you spell "crocodile"?
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
BALGOBIN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
-TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
BALGOBIN: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
-TEACHER: Balgobin, go to the map and find North America.
BALGOBIN: Here it is!
TEACHER: more...

The Professor Of A Graduate-School Class Of Gifted Students Included A Huge Amount Of Material On The Midterm Exam.

Tension In The Room Built, People Were Sighing And Gasping Aloud As They Realized How Much Material They Had Covered And Were Expected To Recall.

The Following Week The Professor Tossed The Graded Papers On Her Desk And Announced, "Class, After I Left Here Last Week, The Lord Spoke To Me. He Said,' Thanks, Professor. I Haven't Heard From Some Of Those People In Years!'"

Two young men who had just graduated from Harvard were excited and talkative about their future plans as they got into a taxi in downtown Boston. After hearing them for a couple of minutes, the cab driver asked,"You men Harvard graduates?"

"Yes Sir! Class of' 99!" they answered proudly.

The cab driver extended his hand back to shake their hand, saying, "Class of' 58."

A kid, just getting home from school runs up to his dad...
"Daddy, daddy! I'm the only one in my class that can count to ten. Why do you rec'un so?"
"Why that's because your from Kentucky son." The dad responses.
The next day the kid gets home from school...
"Daddy, daddy! I'm the only one in my class that knows all the letters in the alphabet. Why do you rec'un so?"
"That's because you're from Kentucky son." The dad tells him again.
The next day the kid busts through the door...
"Daddy. daddy! I'm the only one in school who has a large penis, is that because I'm from Kentucky?"
The dad looks at him and says, "No that's because you're 22."

President George W. Bush is visiting an elementary school today and he visits one of the 4th grade classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the class in the discussion of the word, "tragedy." So the president asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."
One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend, who lives next door, is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy."
"No" says Bush, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not" explains the President. "That's what we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Bush searches the room. more...