Board Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three scots and three englishmen are traveling by train to a football match. At the station, the three englishmen each buy tickets and watch as the three scots buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the three Englanders. "Watch and you`ll see," answers one of the Scotsmen. They all board the train. The Englishmen take their respective seats but all three scotsmen cram into a toilet and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The English saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Englishmen decide to copy the Scots on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return more...

One day when the teacher walked into the classroom, she noticed that someone had written the word 'PENIS' (in tiny letters) on the blackboard. She scanned the class looking for a guilty face. Finding none, she rubbed the word off and began class. The next day, the word 'PENIS' was written on the board again; this time it was written about halfway across the board. Again she looked around in vain for the culprit, so she proceeded with the day's lesson. Every morning for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same disgusting word written on the board, each day's being larger than the previous one, and each being rubbed off vigorously. At the end of the second week, she walked in expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board but instead found the words: "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets."

Cross talk
Rabbi Rabinovitz went in to beg his board of directors to buy a new synagogue chandelier. Arguing and pleading for over an hour, he eventually sat down believing he had failed. Suddenly, the president of the board said, "Why are we wasting time talking`? "First of all, a chandelier,. .. why, we haven’t got anyone who could even spell it. Second, we haven’t got anyone who could even play it. And lastly, what we really need in the shul is more light!"

Whats the difference between a Blonde and a ironing board?
Its hard to open an ironing boards legs

A SUPERINTENDING Engineer (S. E.) of the CPWD was inspecting the furniture section. He wanted to test the knowledge of his subordinates.
"What kind of wood is this?" he asked one.
"Teak, sir. C. P. Teak," replied the subordinate.
"And the plywood?"
"Duroply sir. It bears the ISI mark. Best in the market.
"And the board?"
"Pamella Borde, sir," replied the smarty subordinate.
"What do you mean? This is Duro board," growled the S. E.
"Sir, we have renamed it Pamella Borde, because it is the best available and universally used."

One Sardar Read A Board "Likhney Wala Briliant..... Parhney Wala Idiot.." Sardar Becomes Angry, He Rub The Board And Writes, "Parhney Wala Briliant, Likhney Wala Idiot...."

What is the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
It's easier to open the legs on the blonde.