Auto Jokes / Recent Jokes

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the U.S. auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four-wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh, Shit!"Only the state of Alabama was different, where 96.4 percent of the final words were -"Hey Y'all, hold my beer and watch this!"

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had funded a project with the US auto makers for the past five years. The NTSB covertly funded a project whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.
They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2% of fatal crashes were, "Oh, Shit!"
Only the state of Texas was different, where 89.3% of the final words were, "Hey Y'all, hold my beer and watch this!"

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the US auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four-wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash. They were surprised to find in 47 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61. 2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh, Shit!" Only the states of South Carolina, West Virginia and Arkansas were different, where over 89. 3 percent of the final words were: "Hold my beer and watch this!"

Q: How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb? A: Six - One to force it with a hammer and five to go out for more bulbs. A: Two, one to screw in all the bulbs he has until he finds one that fits, and the other to tell you he thinks hell have to replace the whole socket.

What do you call a white man pushing a car?
White Power
What do you call a black man pushing a car?
Black Power
What do you call a mexican man pushing a car?
Grand Theft Auto

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Farmer's Branch, Texas: Customers waiting for car repairs at Swedish Auto Incorporated now have an alternative to reading old magazines. William Signs, owner of the garage, is offering a free marriage ceremony with any 30, 000-mile inspection on Hondas, Volvos and BMWs. For the $290 price of the inspection, he will throw in the cost of being married by the local justice of the peace, a $25 value. The inspection comes with a warranty, but there is no guarantee on the marriage. Then again, the justice of the peace, Judge Bob Forman, suggests, "Maybe the car will break down and the marriage won't." He says he hasn't seen anything like this stunt since his days as a practicing attorney, when a client asked him to draw up wills for employees in lieu of cash bonuses at Christmas. Signs said he got the idea during a trip to Las Vegas, where he more...

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