"Top 10 Things to Say About a Holiday Gift You Don'" joke

Hey! There's a gift.

Well, well, well...

Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes, that would've fit.

Perfect for wearing in the basement.

Gosh, I hope this never catches fire!

If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!

I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.

To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

I really don't deserve this.

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