Retard Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    nan car joke

    Hot 2 months agoby lily

    nan- why is there some retard sunbathing in the road
    me- nan, he's been hit by a car...

    HEADLINES
    1. Heroic dog drags problem child back into burning building.
    2. Solar eclipse – Public says affirmative action taken overboard.
    3. Half bodied lady rolls to Zimbabwe for free water.
    4. Dead fish threat in sushi shop.
    5. Heroic police officer risks life and limb rearming bomb in Mugabe's suit.
    6. Food poisoning caused by raw sushi.
    7. Solar eclipse canceled due to full schedule.
    8. Gay cow rapes sheep… twice.
    9. Cow turns out to be Australian in cow costume.
    10. Retard knocked over by parked car.
    11. New Zealand man re-united with sheep father.
    12. Retard turned fugitive after failed suicide.
    13. Happy- unhappy.
    14. Baby carrot run over, Doctors fear he could be a vegetable.
    15. AIDS aids elderly man, adds seven years to life.
    16. Sleeping man died on the job.
    17. Iraq! The bomb to be.
    18. Miracle leper goes missing after hot water turns to soup.
    19. Man loses only left foot.
    20. Baby goes more...

    The Abc Accident

    Hot 1 year ago

    One day a little boy was at kindergarten. The teacher told the class their homework was to find the first five letters of the alphabet.
    When the little boy got home he went to his older brother who was playing video games. "Big brother whats the first letter of the alphabet?". His big brother then said to the little boy "Shut up retard i'm sick of listening to you!".
    Then the little boy went on to his second brother who was watching batman. " Big brother what's the second letter of the alphabet?". The older brother who obviously wasn't paying attention said " Na na na na na na na Batman!".
    The little boy went on to his dad who was watching football and said "Dad whats the third letter of the alphabet?". His dad then screamed "Forty-niners, forty-niners!".
    Once again the little boy went on but this time to his mom who was cooking buns and he said "Mom what's the fourth letter of the alphabet?". His more...

    BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
    Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
    JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
    Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."
    MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
    Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."
    IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."
    Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"
    RANCH - noun. A tool.
    Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
    ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
    Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
    FAR - noun. A conflagration.
    Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."
    Y'ALL - noun. A degree of more...

    Before heading south for a vacation, it may be a good idea to learn the language of our southern brothers and sisters. And we're here to help...
    Hah Tu Spek Suthun:
    BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
    Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
    JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
    Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."
    MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
    Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I taint herd from him in munts."
    ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
    Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
    FAR - noun. A conflagration.
    Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."
    BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
    Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far more...

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