Penalty Jokes

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    Amazing Facts

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    * The term "bank teller" originated in the wake of the 1929 stock market crash, when banks began hiring low-paid workers to "tell" throngs of frantic depositors that their money was gone.

    * Scandinavian berserkers used to cut out their eyes before battle to spare themselves the sight of the carnage they invariably wrought.

    * The city of Slaughter, Texas (population: 11, 284), has never had a homicide occur within its boundaries.

    * Rubbing Tabasco on one's upper lip before bedtime is an effective temporary cure for sleep apnea.

    * British pop singer Baby Spice is the great-great-great-great-great-great-grandniece of Archduke William Pinkley-Hogue of Standishfordshire, making her 103rd in line for the throne of England.

    * Moths are unable to fly during an earthquake.

    * When in heat, female hippopotami secrete an oil with a flavor similar to strawberries. Kalahari bushmen use the oil to make flat-bread more...

    The death penalty is getting harder to enforce because doctors are refusing to oversee lethal injections. Said one doctor, "Killing people on purpose just looks bad on the resume."

    Question: What's the penalty for bigamy? Answer: Two mothers-in-law

    This guy's wife was always wanting to go golfing with him and he
    said he didn't think she would enjoy it. She kept pressuring
    him and finally he gave in.
    So they're on the golf course and on the first hole the guy hits
    one 300 yards down the middle of the fairway, hits his second
    shot three feet from the pin, and putts for a birdie. This
    lucky streak continues and he birdies 5 straight holes.
    Then they get to the 6th hole. He takes his driver and hooks
    one way out into the left rough behind a barn. They search and
    search and find the ball, and he says to his wife, "I'll just
    take a penalty and drop the ball out in the fairway."
    His wife says, "Wait a minute!" She walks over to the barn and
    opens the door on one end and then goes to the other end and
    opens that door too. She says, "Look, honey, you can see the
    hole from here! The way you've been playing, just hit through
    the barn and you'll do more...

    The Titans are upset that a delay-of-game penalty was not called during the Ravens winning drive last Sunday. So much time had elapsed on that play, Jeff Fisher actually grew back his mullet.

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