A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."
Why do ballerinas wear tights?
So they don't stick to the floor when they do splits.
"Isnt the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl."Say, do you know who I am?" asked the girl."No.""Im the principals daughter.""And do you know who I am?" asked the boy."No," she replied."Thank goodness!"