"make a glow worm happy" joke

How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted!

You mamma is soo fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!

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My ex-wife's parents told her she could be anything she wanted to be. So she became a bitch.

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One day a girl went to church to make a confession
GIRL: Forgive me father for I have sined
PRIEST: What have you done my child
GIRL: I called a man a son of a bitch
PRIEST: Why did you call him a son of a bitch
GIRL: Caused he touched my hand
PRIEST: more...

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An elderly gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked, sarcastically. The elderly gentleman admitted more...

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HOW I FIRED MY SECRETARY:
Two weeks ago, I went into breakfast, knowing my wife would be pleasant and say Happy Birthday and probably have a present for me...
She didn't even say Good Morning, let alone any Happy Birthday.
I said, well, that's wives for you. The more...

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