"knife" joke

Hot 1 year agoby justincider

I'll never forget my girlfriend's dying words to me:

"For god's sake, put the fucking knife down!"

A couple realise they are spending too much and decide to go through the bills together. "Look at this", demands the wife, "£30 on Beer".
Husband replies, "Well, what about this? £40 on make up?"
The wife looks at him with a smile and more...

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I asked to see your ticket, not your more...

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.

Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about sex at that more...

Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.

I farted in an elevator yesterday... it was wrong on so many levels.

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