"When this guy heard that the Pope " joke

When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town, he wentout and bought a tuxedo in the hope that the Pope might noticehim on the parade route. When he went to the parade, there wasthis bum standing next to him, with old, dirty clothes on. Thethe guy's amazement, when the Pope came, he went over to thebum, and whispered something in his ear. Enraged, the guy wentover to the bum and offered him $100 for the clothes off hisback. Next day, he went back to the parade dressed like a bum. Sure enough, when the Pope came, he stopped in front of thisguy, and whispered in his ear, "I thought I told you to getthe hell out of here!"

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

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You mamma is soo fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!

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Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.

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