"Wedding Vows" joke

Hot 1 year ago

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer.
"I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows," the groom said. "When you get to me and the part where it asks if I promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.
The day of the wedding arrived, and they reached the part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked him in the eye and said:
"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every wish and command, serve her breakfast in bed each and every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped, looked around, and replied in a meek voice, "Yes."After the wedding, the groom pulled the pastor aside and hissed, "I thought we had a deal!"
The pastor put the $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered, "Sorry, son, she made me a much better offer."

Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. Problem was, the parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently more...

President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game of the season. At the start of the game the pitcher comes up in the stands and whispers something in Clinton's ear.
All of a sudden Clinton looks at Hillary and yells, "Okay, Hillary, GET OUT!".
She more...

Q. Did you hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers?
A. It's called, Sosumi.

There once lived three boys. They had really weird names. The first was named Nobody, the second was named Shut Up, and the third was named Manners.
One day, the boy named Nobody fell into the river. Shut Up and Manners went to the police station.
On the way to the more...

Add a comment
remember me
follow replies
0
0
(0)
xavier:sure
0
0
(0)
xavier:somebody pissed on ur hairline
0
0
(0)
xavier:hellllllllllllllllllllllloo
0
0
(0)
xavier:thats not what yomama said
Funny Joke? 21 vote(s). 71% are positive. 4 comment(s).