"Unfaithful Wife" joke
A wealthy man goes to his office one morning. When he gets there he realizes
that he has left his wallet at home and there is something important in it
that he needs. He gets on the phone, calls home where the butler answers.
"James, I left my wallet in my pants, and I need you to get it for me. There
is an important paper that you can read to me over the phone."
The butler goes upstairs to the bedroom to get the wallet. A few minutes
later he comes back to the phone to tell the man, "I am sorry, your wife is
in the bedroom and she does not let me in to get the wallet!"
The man tells James, "I do not care about that! Tell her you need to get in!
Just get the wallet for me, now!"
James goes upstairs again, and returns a minute later, "Sir, I could not
find your wallet, but I did discover a man hiding in the room with your
"What? I do not believe this! OK. Listen to me! This is what I want you to
do. Go upstairs and shoot the man and my wife along with him before he gets
away! Hurry, now!"
James runs off again. A few minutes later, the man hears shotgun blasts in
the background. James returns to the phone and tells him, "OK, I did it.
They are both dead. Now what?"
The man replies, "Now I want you to take the bodies and dump them in the
swimming pool. I am on my way. I will be there shortly!"
"What?" says James, "you do not have a swimming pool!"
"I am sorry," says the man, "wrong number."
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