"Two Lovers" joke
Two lovers interested in spiritualism and reincarnation vowed that if either died, the one remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly thirty days after the tragedy. As luck would have it, a few weeks later the young man perished in the wreck of his new sports car, and true to her word, his bereaved sweetheart attempted to contact him in the spirit world exactly thirty days later. She lay on her bed in the darkness and called out, "John, John, this is Martha. Do you hear me, John?"
A ghostly voice answered her. "Yes, Martha, this is John. I hear you."
Then his newly bereaved asked: "Oh, John, what is it like where you are?"
"It's beautiful, Martha. There are azure skies, a soft breeze and quiet beauty sweeping the horizon."
She exclaimed, "It sounds beautiful. What do you do all day?"
"Well, Martha, we are all up before sunrise, eat breakfast and then it's nothing but sex until noon. After lunch, we nap until two and then make love until five. After dinner there's more of the same until midnight when we go to sleep to get ready for the next morning."
Martha was somewhat taken aback. "But, John," she exclaimed, "is that really what heaven is like?"
"Heaven? I'm not in heaven, Martha!"
"Where are you, then?"
"I'm a jack rabbit in Arizona!"