"Two Lions" joke
Once upon a time, long, long ago there were two unique lions in the jungles of Africa. Both, it seems, had human-like qualities that made them claim territory, daring the other to cross over the line. Strange as it seems, the boundary between their turf was a well traveled trail through the jungle.
All day every day, both lions lay in the brush staring across the trail at their compatriot, daring him to cross into their territory.
The local natives knew of this animal feud, but all this was unbeknown to African Jack, a well-known and must publicized guide who did not speak Lionese and was unfamiliar with the territory.
While he was leading a safari through the jungle, walking all day and cutting vines with their machetes, all this constant hacking brush had them worn to a frazzle. After seeing two or three of his safari drop from exhaustion, African Jack decided to stop on the trail between these two lions and camp for the night.
After sitting up camp, eating, and getting his safari settled African Jack sat on a stump and began reading. While he was busily engaged in the printed page, the two lions, simultaneously, pounced on African Jack and ate him on the spot.
When the 6 o'clock news heard of the tragedy, they reported, "African Jack killed this evening. The motive is unclear, but it is reported he was reading between the lions."
New Bra
A scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.
At a news conference announcing the invention, a large group of men took the scientist more...
What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl?
A cock that stays up all night.
I understand that drugstores often end up selling the' Extra large' box of condoms (because, naturally every guy considers himself' extra large'). Of course, the only thing' Extra Large' is the QUANTITY of the condoms, not the physical size of each condom...
Twas the week before Christmas,
I was feeding a mouse,
fattening it up,
for our cats in the house.
The wife's stockings hung
on the shower with care,
The drain is clogged.
Probably big globs of hair.
The children were playing,
jumping more...
Difference between soccer players can be seen in a cornerkick rebound:chelsea player-force the shot,barcelona player-dribble past two players and take the shot,manchester united player-fake the shot and pass to a better positioned player,arsenal player-fake the shot and dribble more...