"True Newspaper Headlines...OY!" joke

Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link -Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us -Holland Sentinal, date unknown. Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut -The New York Times, November 22Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find -The Los Angeles Times, November 2"Light" meals are lower in fat, calories -Huntington Herald-Dispatch, November 30Alcohol ads promote drinking -The Hartford Courant, November 18Malls try to attract shoppers -The Baltimore Sun, October 22Official: Only rain will cure drought -The Herald-News, Westpost, MassachusettsTeen-age girls often have babies fathered by men -The Sunday Oregonian, September 24Low Wages Said Key to Poverty -Newsday, July 11Man shoots neighbor with machete -The Miami Herald, July 3Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes -The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows -The New York Times, March 10Man Run Over by Freight Train Dies -The Los Angeles Times, March 2Scientists see quakes in L. A. future -The Oregonian, January 28Wachtler tells graduates that life in jail is demeaning -The Buffalo News, February 26Free Advice: Bundle up when out in the cold -Lexington Herald-Leader, January 26Prosecution paints O. J. as a wife-killer -Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, January 25Economist uses theory to explain economy -Collinsville Herald-Journal, February 8Bible church's focus is the Bible -Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons -Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity -The Chicago Tribune, March 5Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear -Journal of Commerce, April 20Biting nails can be sign of tenseness in a person -The Daily Gazette of Schenectady, New York, May 2Lack of brains hinders research -The Columbus Dispatch, April 16Cement Supplies seen as adequate -The Bangkok Post, January 28How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author Louise Hay -Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5Fish lurk in streams -Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29Dole loses debate by not winning -Some newspaper

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