"Torres drowns his sorrows..." joke
Fernando Torres walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a couple of shots, please."
The barman says, "That's not like you."
I was ice-skating today just minding my own business when I noticed some big fat bird kept giving me the eye.
Eventually she came over. "Hi there, I'm a bit shy I'm not very good at breaking the ice," she laughed.
"Have you tried jumping?" I asked.
Come on you miserable bastards were some colours
Nan stop were at a funeral
I've been fucking this really sexy bird who is a twin.
My mate asked me how I told her apart from the other twin?
I said it was easy. Her brother has a beard.