"Top ten Dave's new year's resolutions" joke

Breakfast, lunch and dinner: Cheese-filled weenies
Raise financial backing for my one man ice show - "Davecapades!"
Turn in Uzi for shiny new bicycle
Tape all the NFL games on CBS
Return camera number 3 to NBC
(Here, Dave shows camera number 3 - with an NBC logo on the side)
Stop laughing every time I say "The Fox Network"
Have applause sign installed in my bedroom
To always remain loyal to this fine network - unless another network comes up with some more money
Learn to teeterboard nude
(This entry is completed with a clip of senior citizens teeterboarding naked)
Four words: Mrs. Kathie Lee Letterman