"Things you'll never hear" joke

Cindy Crawford:
"Well... Looks aren't everything."
Yassar Arafat:
"Discrimination? I'll give you discrimination! Israel has over 5 million Jews; we don't have any."
Madonna:
"I didn't have a bit of trouble with the singing in the movie, but they did have to dub in most of the acting."
Mayor Smoke (Baltimore):
"There are so many muggers around that you can't walk 5 blocks without leaving the scene of a crime."
William Clinton:
"Any President who lies to the American people should resign." (Oh wait! He did say that - never mind)
Steven Spielberg:
"I just finished my new horror film. It's so bloody, it's sure to get a 'Type A' rating."
Kenneth Starr:
"I only look at the newspapers every other day. That way, I don't have to read any of the denials."
Boris Yeltsin:
"I never worry about waking up to a revolution. If I wake up, there's no revolution."
Sharon Stone:
"Today's movies are not only bigger than life, they're dirtier than life too."
Clinton's Lawyers:
"Most politicians don't believe a word of what they say. We're amazed that y'all do."