"The story of Opium Jones" joke

Hot 3 years ago

First day of class in a rural Southern school. Teacher is calling role: "Billy Adams."
"Here."
"Susie Brown."
"Here."
She comes to "Opium Jones" and gasps. "Boy," she says, "what you name?"
"Opium Jones!" he says proudly.
"Boy," she says, "you go fetch yo' mammy to come see me."
The mother arrives.
"This boy say his name is Opium Jones," the teacher says.
"That's right," the mother says. "That's what we named him."
"But don't you know opium is a dope?" the teacher says.
"I sure do," the mother replies.
"No no no, that's not what I meant," the teacher says. "I mean, opium is illegal."
"Uh-huh," the mother says.
"No no," the teacher says. "What I mean is, opium is a seed what come from a white poppy."
"You hit the nail right on the head!" says the mother.

When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town, he went out and
bought a tuxedo in the hope that the Pope might notice him on the parade
route. When he went to the parade, there was this bum standing next to him,
with old, dirty clothes on. The the guy's more...

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

I would like to find the person who invented sex and see what he's working on now.

My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that's what he said.

If you have something to say, raise your hand and place it over your mouth.

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