"The secret code word..." joke

Hot 2 years ago

An old priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery.During one Sunday's sermon he told them, "If one more person confesses to adultery, I'll quit!"Since everyone liked him, they decided to use a code word: "fallen."From then on, anyone who had committed adultery said they had "fallen."This satisfied the old priest and the parishioners, and everything was fine for years, until finally the old priest passed away at the ripe old age of 93.Shortly after the new young priest settled in, he paid a call on the mayor. The priest was quite concerned. "You have to do something about the sidewalks in this town, Mayor. You can't believe how many people come into the confessional talking about having fallen!"The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had explained their code word to the new priest.But before the mayor could explain, the priest shook his finger at the mayor and said -"I don't know why you're laughing; your wife fell three times last week!"

A story is told of a Jewish man who was riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader.
"Moshe, have you lost your mind? more...

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Brains

An alien walked into a shop and told the owner that he came from Mars and wanted to buy a brain for research. ''How much is this one?'' he asked. ''Well that one is a monkey brain and it's $20,'' he explained. ''How much is that one?'' he asked ''Well that one is a female brain more...

Boy: Did it hurt?
Girl: Did what hurt?
Boy: When you fell from heaven.
Girl: Aww, did it hurt when you got kicked out of hell?
Boy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
Girl: Really? If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put F more...

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish. The redhead more...

A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight.
His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK?
The son replies he is scared because he has dreamt that Auntie Susie had died.
The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine more...

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