"The parrot who wouldn't talk." joke
A person wanted a parrot who talked. Going to the pet store, this lover of talking parrots asked if there was a bird who was already speaking. "Yes," the pet store owner said, "this bird has a vocabulary of about 1000 words plus 50 phrases guaranteed to fit most occasions." The deal was made and the parrot was brought home complete with a cage. The next day the purchaser went back and said the parrot had yet to say a word. "That's to be expected," said the pet shop owner. "Try getting the bird a few of the toys that were here for the bird to use in the shop. It just needs to feel at home with you." Toys were purchased and a day went by. The parrot's owner returned and said there still had been no talking. "I see," said the pet shop owner. "Perhaps if you got a bird bath, the parrot would start to talk while using it." A bird bath was purchased and yet another day went by. The next day the owner was back with the same complaint. This time the pet shop owner mentioned that sometimes the bird had been praised in its training by being allowed to ring a little bell. The parrot's owner bought the bell reluctantly. The following day the parrot's owner was there waiting as the store opened. "Still no luck?" asked the store owner. "No. Nothing said yet," answered the bird's owner. "Well, I bet the bird's just lonesome for some of the birds here at the shop." "What? You want me to buy another bird!?!" yelped the unhappy owner of the parrot. "No, no, calm down," reassured the store owner. "All you have to do is get a mirror and the bird will think it has a companion." At last the sale of a mirror was agreed upon. The pet store owner the next day opened the store and found the troublesome customer had returned. .. this time with the parrot, only it was dead! "What happened?" asked the store owner, "Didn't the bird ever talk?" "Yes, right before it died it said: What's the matter? Don't they sell birdseed at the pet store anymore?"
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!
Arnold Schwartzinagor has a long one
Michael J. Fox has a short one
Madonna doesn't have one and
Bill Clinton uses his a lot
What is "it"?
A last name!
Now what were you thinking?