"The nooner" joke
A businessman and his secretary were overcome by passion, and the executive convinced her to retire to his house for what is popularly termed a "nooner."
"Don't worry," he purred. "My wife is out of town on a business trip, and won't bother us."
The pair were necking in the businessman's bedroom, when the secretary gasped, "We got to stop now! I'm not using any birth control!"
"No problem," he replied. "I know where my wife keeps her diaphragm."
He immediately began rooting around in the bathroom. After a half-hour, he returned to the bedroom in a fury. "That witch!" he exclaimed. "She took it with her! I always knew that she didn't trust me."
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