"The fastest way to a man's heart" joke

by Kria

Q: What is the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

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The Utah Jazz collected their 12th straight victory. In celebration, Utah residents might even stay up til midnight.

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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

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Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again

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