"The Steelers & The Browns" joke
Once upon a time, long, long ago there was a season when neither the Browns nor the Steelers made the post season playoffs. It seemed so unusual that the management of both teams got together and decided that there should be some sort of competition between the two teams, because of their great rivalry. So, they decided on a week long ice fishing competition. The team that catches the most fish at the end of the week wins.
So on a cold freezing day on Lake Erie they began their contest.
The first day after 8 hours of fishing the Browns had caught 0 fish and the Steelers had 100. At the end of the 2nd day the Browns had caught 0 fish and the Steelers 200.
That evening the Browns coach got his team together and said, "I suspect some kind of cheating is taking place." So the next morning, he dressed one of his players in black and yellow and sent him over to the Steelers camp to act as a spy. At the end of the day he came back to report to the coach. The coach asked, "Well, how about it, are they cheating?"
"They sure are!" the player reported, "They're cutting holes in the ice."
There was this Christian lady who had to do a lot of traveling for her business so she did a lot of flying. But flying made her nervous so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her. One time she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out more...
Teacher: Jimmy, use the word "handsome" in a sentence.
Jimmy: Handsome gum over will ya?
Teacher: No, no, that's not right. You have one more chance. Use the word "gladiator" in a sentence.
Jimmy: A monster ate my sister and I'm gladiator.
A man had his VISA stolen but he decided not to report it as the thief was spending less than his wife did!
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack.
Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.
"Olympic condoms?", she blurts, "What makes them so more...