"The Starving Dude" joke

Hot 5 years ago

A man is starving in the desert and he comes across a tree with houses in it. He knocks on the door and an old man answers.
AHH, a visitor, said the man. well come inside and ill show u 2 a room. The man went to his room at the highest part of the tree. Oh, and dont have a dream of torture or u shall evoke the Three Chinese Tortures.
So, the man goes to sleep and he has a dream of torture. When he wakes up he has a heavy rock on his chest and a sticky note tied to it. it says: 1st chinese toture, 100lbs rock on chest. So the man picked up the rock and threw it out of the window. A sticky note on the window says: 2nd chinese toture: rock tied to left testicle. The man screams as he is falling out of the room and he sees a chalkoard with the word: 3rd chinese torture: right testicle tied to bedpost. OUCH!!!

A man walks into a bar with his pet crocodile, the bartender screams and demands he get the man eating creature out of there! The man tries to calm the bartender down and says he is very well trained to prove it the man whipped out his cock and put it in the crocodile's mouth, more...

Two Polish guys are sitting on a park bench, and a bum comes up to them.
"Hey!!" he bellows, in his hoarse voice. "I got a riddle for you two. What has 2 heads, 4 arms, 4 legs, and stinks like SHIT??"
The Polish guys look at each other, and one of more...

A man visits his doctor. "I think I have a problem, doc," said the patient. "One of my testicles has turned blue."
The doctor examined the man briefly and concluded the patient would die if they didn't have his testicle removed.
"Are you more...

A man walks in to the local pub holding a medium sized box. He places the box on the bar, takes a seat and asks the bar tender "if I show you something amazing, will you give me a free pint" the bar tender thinks for a while and agrees. The customer gently removes the more...

A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to explain his problem. "Doctor, doctor! I've got this problem," the man said. "I keep hallucinating that I'm a dog. It's crazy. I don't know what to do!"
"A common more...

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