"The Shepherd..." joke

Hot 3 years ago

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and a YSL tie leaned out of the window and asked our shepherd: "If I can tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"
The shepherd looks at the yuppie, then at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers, "Sure!"
The yuppie parks the car, whips out his notebook, connects it to a cell-phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system, scans the area, opens up a database and some 60 Excel spreadsheets with complex formulas. Finally he prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech miniaturized printer, turns round to our shepherd and says: "You have here exactly 1586 sheep!"
"This is correct. As agreed, you can take one of the sheep," says the shepherd. He watches the young man make a selection and bundle it in his Cherokee.
Then he says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me my sheep back?"
"Ok, why not?" answers the young man. "You are a consultant," says the shepherd.
"This is correct," says the yuppie, "How did you guess that?"
"Easy," answers the shepherd. "You turn up here, although nobody called you. You want to be paid for the answer to a question I already knew the solution to; and you don't know @$#% about my business because you took my dog."

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: "When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy more...

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on theedge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!""Why shouldn't I?" he said.I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!""Like more...

What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl?
A cock that stays up all night.

We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

A Cuban, a Japaneze guy, an American and a Mexican are in a boat.
The Cuban pulls out a box of cigars, takes one and throws the rest
in the water. He puffs twice and throws it in the water.
He says, "We have so many cigars in cuba, we can spare more...

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