"The Peach Farmer" joke

The old farmer was having a pretty bad year. All of his crops had been lost. Fortunately, the peach orchard had done very well. The only way he was going to make it financially was to cut out the middleman and sell the peaches directly to the consumer. So, he loaded his pickup with peaches and headed to town.
Just on the outskirts of town, he came to a house. He grabbed a basket of peaches, walked up to the house, and knocked on the door. A gorgeous blonde, wearing a sheer robe, answered the door. In a sexy voice she said, "Hi, honey, what can I do for you?"
Somewhat shaken, the old farmer muttered, "I have these really nice peaches for sale."
The blonde, noticing how shaken he was, decided to play a bit. She opened the top of her robe, exposing her breasts, and said, "Are those peaches full and firm like these?"
Even more shaken, he managed to whisper, "Oh yes, they're really good peaches."
Then, she opened the rest of her robe, revealing that she wasn't wearing any panties. She teased, "Would they be succulent and delicious like this?"
The old farmer broke down crying, and stammered, "Oh yes, they're wonderful peaches."
She replied, "Well, honey, why on earth are you crying?"
The old farmer whimpered, "Lady, first the cut worms ruined my tomato crop, and the weevils ate all my cotton. Now, something tells me you're gonna screw me out of my peaches."

An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her,' What did you steal?'

She replied,' A can of peaches.'

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was more...

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