"The Image Of Rank" joke
Leaps over tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water, and gives policy to God.
Leaps over short buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if sea is calm, and talks to God.
Leaps over short buildings with a running start and a favorable wind, is almost as powerful as a switch engine, is as fast as a speeding b-b, walks on water in an indoor pool, and talks to God if special request is approved.
Barely clears quonset huts, loses tug-of-war with locomotives, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well, and is occassionally addressed by God.
Makes high marks when trying to leap buildings, is run over by locomotives, can someimes handle a weapon without inflicting self-injury, can doggie-paddle, and talks to animals.
Runs into buildings, recognizes locomotives two out of three times, is not issued ammunition, can stay afloat if properly instructed, and talks to water.
Falls over doorsills when trying to enter buildings, says “look at the choo-choo, ” wets himself with a water pistol, and mumbles to himself.
An NCO: Lifts building and then walks under them, kicks locomotives off the track, catches speeding bullets in his teeth, and chews them, and freezes water in a speeding glance. He is God.
Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.
A girl with a red wig on goes to the doctor and the doctor asks "What seems to be the problem?" The girl says: "My body is on fire." She touched her arm and screamed. She touched her cheek and screamed even louder. The doctor says: "You are a blonde more...
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.