"The Adoption" joke
Ted and Alice were thrilled when their long wait to adopt a baby finally came to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had an adorable German baby boy and the couple took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped at the local college so they could enroll in night classes. After they completed filling out the form, the registrar inquired, "What possessed you to study German?"
"We've just adopted a wonderful German baby boy and in a year or so, he'll begin to talk. We want to make sure we're able to understand him!" the couple proudly explained.
Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!
Teacher: Wat do u call a person who apologizes if he has committed a mistake ?
Boy: An honest man.
Teacher: Good. And what do u call a person who apologizes even if he has committed no mistake ?
Boy: A Boyfriend.
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth... the rest was made in China.
Mondays aren't so bad...it's my job that sucks.
Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...