"Telling Lies" joke
The minister was passing a group of young teens sitting on the Church lawn and stopped to ask what they were doing.
"Nothing much, Pastor," replied one boy. "We were just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about their sex life."
"Boys, boys, boys!" he scolded. "I'm shocked. When I was your age, I never even thought about sex."
In unison they all replied, "You win!"
A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him,' 'I screwed your mom last night!'' Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him.
Again, he hears,' 'Your mom was good in bed last night!'' Again, he tries to ignore it.
The man is more...
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again
(This is a joke for you and a friend. Tell your friend that everytime you ask a question to answer with "Ketchup and liquor")
You: What did you have for breakfast?
Friend: Ketchup and Liquor.
You: What did you have for lunch?
Friend: Ketchup and more...
My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.