"Smelly" joke
An Avon lady was along in an elevator when she suddenly had to fart. She promptly reached into her bag and sprayed the air with her deodorizer.
Two floors later a gentleman got onto the elevator. He began to sniff.
The Avon lady asked, "Do you smell something?"
"Why, yes, I do," he replied.
"What does it smell like?"
"Hmmm, I'm not sure, but it kind of smells like someone shit in a pine tree."
A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."
The Utah Jazz collected their 12th straight victory. In celebration, Utah residents might even stay up til midnight.
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.