"Skydiving secrets!" joke

Hot 4 years ago

The story about the pilot ground school got me thinking about my first skydiving instructor. During class he would take time to answer any of our stupid First Timer Questions.
One guy asked: "If our parachute doesn't open... and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have till we hit the ground?"
Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan answered: "The rest of your life."

I have this posted over my desk. I don’t know who the original author is, but I always found this quote remarkable for coming to grips with unjust and nasty criticism:

A courtier told the Emperor Constantine that a mob had broken the head of his statues with stones. more...

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a hamster. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny more...

Because of an ear infection, Little Johnny, had to go to the pediatrician. The doctor directed his comments and questions to Little Johnny in a professional manner. When he asked Little Johnny, "Is there anything you are allergic to?" Little Johnny nodded and whispered more...

A woman goes into Walmart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Walmart "associate" standing there with dark shades on. She says, "Excuse me sir... can you tell me anything about more...

The grave of Karl Marx is just another communist plot.

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