"Skydiving secrets!" joke

Hot 3 years ago

The story about the pilot ground school got me thinking about my first skydiving instructor. During class he would take time to answer any of our stupid First Timer Questions.
One guy asked: "If our parachute doesn't open... and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have till we hit the ground?"
Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan answered: "The rest of your life."

Two Arab fathers are showing each other their family photos. One shows the other a picture and says "This is my oldest, he is a martyr. This is my second oldest, he is also a martyr." The other Arab father just sighs and says "Ahh, they blow up so quickly these more...

Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted,"I am Napoleon!"Another one said, "How do you know?" The first inmate said, "God told me!"Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"

A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. "This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent. "Okay, Sport," the guys says to the dog, "what’s on the top of a house?" "Roof!" the dog replies. "Oh, come more...

Two Jewish men are sitting in a wonderful deli frequented almost exclusively by Jews in the Jewish section of town. They are talking amongst themselves in Yiddish. A Chinese waiter comes up and in fluent impeccable Yiddish asks them if everything is okay, can he get them more...

Once upon a time, long, long ago there were two unique lions in the jungles of Africa. Both, it seems, had human-like qualities that made them claim territory, daring the other to cross over the line. Strange as it seems, the boundary between their turf was a well traveled trail more...

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