"Single Guy" joke
Shirley and Sophie are elderly widows. One day they see a new, nice looking guy come into the indoor swimming pool of a building with them.
Sophie says, "Shirley you know I'm shy. Can you go over to the other side of the pool and try to get to know about that guy."
Shirley goes over to the other side and asks the guy "Are you single?"
"Yes, but I been in prison."
"Why?"
"I strangled my third wife."
"What about your second wife?"
"I got in a fight with her and she fell out the window."
"And your first wife?"
"I shot her."
Then Shirley calls to the other side to Sophie and says "Yoo hoo, he's single!"
A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park.
A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks the blonde what she is doing and she replies, "I'm hanging myself."
"You're supposed more...
One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.
The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on my and stick me in a jar.
The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever more...
Your momma is so fat when she fell in the grand canyon she got stuck half way down.